How are you and Mika going at the moment?

This is a question I've been often asked my some of my friends and family and i thought it was about time i talked about it on the blog. Dont really want to but at least everything is out in the open. To be honest, things arent going very well at all with us. It is as probably as much my fault as it is Mika's but there are a lot of things that have been the cause of many a fight between us. As you know, Mika is born and bred in Kobe. She has lived there all her life and has only recently decided to try get out of her own comfort circle (ie. out of her parents place) and come to Kochi to live with me, HER BOYFRIEND of almost 3 years.

I was excited about her coming but had doubts to whether or not Mika would like it here. I think i have been trying my hardest to help her enjoy her life here in Kochi together with me. I pay all the bills myself, pay for food, have been very supportive, i have even brought her scooter bike back from Kobe in order that she can get to various places whenever she wants to. I take her out places when i can and have even found a job for her (yes, i did that). And I even bought a new TV! She has been so nice as to cook dinner and do some of the housework for me and for that i am forever thankful. The place is immaculate!

Since she moved here I have tried to keep her busy because i know how absolutely boring it can be sitting in my apartment all day. So I tell her she should go out, see the sights, take up a new hobby, come for walks with me and perhaps try to find a job somewhere so she doesnt have to be stuck at home all day and so she can have some disposable income to use while she is here. Does this sound like reasonable, normal things that a boyfriend would do? To me, it does.

However, since Mika has arrived here, she has become depressed and has hardly no motivation to do anything reasonable at all. Most of this bows down to homesickness and because she misses her close friends in Kobe. and i have tried my hardest to take her mind off that but lately its becoming a real challenge. But there is only so much i can do. Mika needs to take the next step and do stuff for herself.

Not to sound like im a whinging bitch, but since she has come here she has made no real attempt to go out (without me telling her to), to try and find a job, to make friends or to try and like living in Kochi. By pure coinicidence i managed to find her a job recently at my closest convenience store (15 min drive away) and although its not the most ideal job and the pay is quite low, at least she doing something for herself. But since she's started its been nothing but bitching and complaining about it. I didnt make her take the job, and she can quit whenever wants to but at least try to stick at it. and thats what shes doing for now anyways. but if u dont like the job, go and find something for yourself instead of getting people to find something for urself.

Mostly though lately, I miss seeing her happy. She sits at home doing nothing, wont go out to try make friends, wont keep looking to see if a better job comes her way, and be selfish and do things when only she wants to. Now, i am lost for other ways to make her happy, as i am slowly running out of ideas and energy. To top it off, which has really made me start to think a lot about where our relationship is heading is what she has said to me on more than one occasion. First, is that she'd sometimes rather not have a normal relationship like before, but to go back to our long distance relationship. She'd rather not be in a real relationship? Whats that about?

Secondly, she wants me work in Kobe after JET for god knows how long. Now, for me, that is a big fucking decision to make, and sounds rather more like a selfish order to me. Also, she has told me that, she doesnt really want to live in Australia at all. Only for short holidays. Now, i dont know about some people but i would find that to be quite offensive. The main reason is because she says she cant watch Japanese TV and because she cant speak english. The thing is with the english side, she expects me to teach English to her all the time and thinks by only just speaking english with me, she can get good. No, Im sorry but at least try to make an effort by urself to study ur own boyfriends language to show u actually are interested.

Now, im sorry for continually bitching about whats been going on lately but being where i live, i dont have many people i see on a regular basis to turn to for advice. Im a bit lost for what to do, but know if things dont improve soon, i dont know for how much longer we will be together for.